Sunday, February 7, 2010

Sarah's birthday part two

Juergen and I talked with the kids. I don't ever let stuff build up. I confront things head on. It's not always graceful or pretty, but we don't have allot of unresolved feeling here. At first the boys said they were sorry. Then I asked them why. They couldn't really say was because daddy told them to say it. Then I explained what I felt they had done wrong. I told them to go think about it. Then I went and talked to them again, and got a real sorry from them. That bit of drama is done.
I got a call from a friend of ours. He is getting a divorce. It's very sad. There were no affairs or anything like that. It's just a long history of unresolved conflict, and poor communication, and a lack of consideration for each other. I guess this is really behind why I take my kids lack of consideration so seriously. I have a good marriage, and I want that for them too. I don't ever want them to face a divorce. I want them to have the skills to be happy. If they don't respect or appreciate me, I don't think they'll respect or appreciate their wives/husband.

Juergen and I took Sarah and her friends to Jump In for her party. They all had a great time. Juergen and I sat there together and talked about the failed marriage of our friends. We are both so sad. I went to Heidelpraise , a worship concert afterwards. I sat on the cold floor of the concert hall, in the dark and cried. At one point in the concert I looked up to see Nicole in the distance with her hands raised to God. Gods love can move a mountain, he is mighty to save, our God's mighty to save. And then I had an answer. I feel the pain in my heart, the loss and the hurt of so many people around me. I am only mentioning a few hurt people, but I know many others. I am sad, but I haven't got the strength to carry it all. But God can move mountains...and he can save. And when I saw my daughter worshipping my God, I felt peace and gratitude.

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