Friday, July 8, 2011
Attachment education...very good stuff!
Here is some very good educational stuff on attachment. There are many videos on you tube on the subjects. Our kids have shown amazing progress in this area. We still see the awful symptoms of a stressful early childhood. It takes years to see all the fear fade. And with older kids it may never go away. But we do our best to bring health and life. And I know people have unrealistic expectations about how long it takes. If a child had bonded well to care givers, it is easier for them to bond again. Their brains are wired for relationship. But with treatment even kids that have spent a life time in institutions can improve. When I first brought Sarah home from China she wouldn't let me take her to the toilet, put her to bed, or even be in the same room with her for months. She clung to Juergen for dear life. We had to talk on the phone with each other because Sarah would cry if I was anywhere near her. yesterday she called me the best mommy in the whole world! I am her best friend. And she takes karate because she wants to always be able to protect me. It is both a miracle and the results of years of hard work (work that continues after 4 years). Attachment is not "love at first sight" for many families...but it is the love that grows from faithfulness. And it's worth the work!
(In China Sarah would not let me hold her hand. My poor mom had to hold her. Mom had bad knees and that was painful. But Sarah would not let me hold her hand).