Monday, February 14, 2011

We learn and learn and learn

Sarah has a problem taking her things off and just leaving them anywhere (socks, gloves, sweaters etc). She misplaced her belt for her Karate outfit. She couldn't find it today, and missed her class. I told her she could just go without it. But no...and a one hour cry. And then she tries to blame me. But it isn't my fault, or my belt. I'm not receiving her blame! So after she calmed down (and it took awhile) I sat her down and talked to her. We came up with a game plan. A what to do about it. She will carry her outfit in a sports bag. She will carry the bag to the sports hall and change there. She will change back into her street cloths, and put the karate outfit in the sports bag. I don't yell at her, I don't spank her, I don't receive her blame and guilt, and I try to help her learn from her own mistakes. She has to learn personal responsibility. She has to own her life! It seems to be a problem for many kids adopted at an older age. They want to act like victims, helpless and irresponsible. But she isn't a victim anymore. She is a daughter! She survived with that strong will. But now she has to use her power in another way! It's all learning, learning, learning!

1 comment:

  1. I agree G sometimes does the same with the blaming me for her not being able to find something. It is hard though to not help.